Women’s Compact Instruction Booklet

May 25th, 2006 by ladybob

Women’s Compact Instruction Booklet

1. Never do housework. No man ever loved a woman because the house was spotless.


2. Remember: you are known by the idiot you accompany.


3. Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in diapers.


4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.


5. So many men - so many reasons not to date any of them.


6. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there.


7. Tell him you’re not his type - you have a pulse.


8. Never let your man’s mind wander. It’s too little to be let out alone.


9. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.


10. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.


11. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.


12. Women don’t make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.


13. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.


14. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.


15. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.


16. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.


17. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.


18. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.


19. Sadly, all men are created equal.

20. When he asks you if he’s your first date, tell him "You may be, you look  familiar."

Men

May 15th, 2006 by ladybob

Top reasons why some women are still single..and its true!! ( for a laugh)

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men with money think we are only after their
money.

7. The handsome men without money are after
our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and
somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are
beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are
heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money,
are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome,
somewhat nice and have some money and thank
God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE
THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move,
automatically lose interest in us when we take the
initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and
it’s our job to stomp on them and keep
them in the dark until they mature into something
you’d like to have dinner with."

SHARE THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE
GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

February 7th, 2006 by ladybob


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing
cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise
your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label
it "In."

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine
addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks,write "For
Sexual Favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance
With The Prophecy."

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
(LOL! i know a couple of ppl who would agree with
this one!)

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To
Go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don’t rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area
and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can’t attend their party because you’re not in the
mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, Chain Slayer

17. When the money comes out the ATM,
scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards
the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives,
They’re Loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are going to >have to let one of you
go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of
insanity………..

20. Send this E-mail to someone to make them
smile..

the RelatIonshIps

January 17th, 2006 by ladybob

THE RELATIONSHIPS
(INDIA vs OVERSEAS)
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Relation     |In India              |Outside India          |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Mother-in-law|A woman capable of    |A woman you never fight|
|             |making your life      |with, because where    |
|             |miserable.            |else you will find such|
|             |                      |a dedicated baby sitter|
|             |                      |for free ?             |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Husband      |A boring human        |Still boring, but now a|
|             |species, who listens  |useful human species   |
|             |more to his mother    |that comes in handy    |
|             |than you, and orders  |when the house needs to|
|             |you around to serve   |be vacuumed.           |
|             |him, his parents and  |                       |
|             |siblings.             |                       |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Friend       |A person whose house  |A person whom you have |
|             |you can drop into any |to call first to check |
|             |time of the day or    |and make sure he is not|
|             |night and you'll      |busy.                  |
|             |always be welcome.    |                       |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Wife         |A woman who gives you |A woman who yells at   |
|             |your underwear and    |you not to leave tub   |
|             |towel when you go to  |dirty when you go to   |
|             |take a shower.        |take bath.             |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Son          |A teenager, who       |A teenager, who        |
|             |without asking will   |suddenly remembers he  |
|             |carry your grocery    |has lot of homework    |
|             |bags from the market. |when you start mowing  |
|             |                      |the lawn.              |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Daughter     |A lovely doll, who    |A lovely doll, who     |
|             |brings tears to your  |brings you to tears    |
|             |eyes during her       |long before her        |
|             |marriage.             |marriage.              |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Father       |A person you are      |A person to whom you   |
|             |afraid of, and who is |pretend to obey, after |
|             |never to be disobeyed.|all he is the one      |
|             |                      |paying your college    |
|             |                      |tuition.               |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Indian       |A person with a       |A person without a     |
|Engineer     |respectable job and   |secure job, who always |
|             |earning lots.         |dreams one day he will |
|             |                      |be rich.               |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Doctor       |A respectable person  |A money making machine,|
|             |with OK income.       |who has a money        |
|             |                      |spending machine at    |
|             |                      |home called "doctor's  |
|             |                      |wife".                 |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Bhangra      |A vigorous Punjabi    |A dance you do, when   |
|             |festival dance.       |you don't know how to  |
|             |                      |dance.                 |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|Software     |A high-tech guy,      |The same hi-tech guy,  |
|Engineer     |always speaks in      |who does Ganapati Puja |
|             |American accent,      |everyday, and says     |
|             |always anxious to     |'This is my last year  |
|             |queue in the consulate|in the US (or          |
|             |visa line.            |wherever)'every year.  |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|
|A Green Card |the guy can't speak   |the guy can't speak    |
|holder       |Hindi, parents of good|proper English, wears  |
|bachelor     |looking girls are     |jacket all the time,   |
|             |dying to hook him,    |works in a Candy store |
|             |wears jacket in       |at Manhattan, dreams of|
|             |summer, says he has a |owning a BMW           |
|             |BMW back there.       |                       |
|-------------+----------------------+-----------------------|

Determination

January 16th, 2006 by ladybob

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so." "Crazy men and their crazy dreams." "It`s foolish to chase wild visions." Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife’s arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife’s arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man’s indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

Love vS mArriagE

December 14th, 2005 by ladybob

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children. 

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is a drive on topsy turvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for the remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "DON’T YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH?"

happy days are back!

December 7th, 2005 by ladybob

I finally can blog in my second account.I’m so glad to be back….go read!!!

December 6th, 2005 by ladybob

I’m here once again….I thought i’ll never blog here again…but the thing is….i can’t open my the other blog….huhu…i’ll be back there again anyways…

I’m back!!!

November 8th, 2005 by ladybob

This pages here looks boring……hell boring…it’s so dull and i simply refuse to update it…even my second acct is just left without anything…but i’ll still be active there…do visit it most of your free time  :P

http://raeynu.blogs.friendster.com/raeyns/

September 27th, 2005 by ladybob

dear all….my blogs are now in a new place….i got tired posting in two different places…so…my blogs are now at…

http://raeynu.blogs.friendster.com/raeyns/